I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Randomize
