Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
my neighbors having band practice on sunday morning is a message from the universe that I should stop drinking
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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