I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
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Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
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Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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