Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
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