Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I loved your drunken rendition of "I wanna dance with somebody" that you left on my voicemail last night.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I was just trying to be a good friend but in retrospect I probably shouldn't have pepper sprayed you.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
