Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
