I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
How are you going to pay for strippers in Vegas when you were just begging for McDoubles?
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
Randomize
