my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
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To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
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