i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
you inspire me to be a worse person
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
Randomize
