I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
All I have are vague memories of us eating ham?
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
