Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Afterwards she curled up in my dog's bed and slept there all night
How mad was your dog?
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
Randomize
