Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
The guy I was getting with last night took off his purity ring mid-sex and threw it across the room.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I was just told that I'm the Sherlock Holmes of drunken sex. I'll take it.
Randomize
