It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Randomize
