Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
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