Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
Maid of honor is brides sister and single. Likes lemondrops. You're welcome.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I accidentally walked in the wrong house but I somehow left with a chicken leg. Good fucking night.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
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