I'm pants shitting drunk right now
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
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