Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
You peed on a pole and declared to a cop that it was your pole and yelled at him to not even look at it, and then yelled at all of us for looking at it.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
Randomize
