I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got kicked out of the E.R. for saying "balls".
Randomize
