Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
As your boyfriend, I'm gonna congratulate you on winning that fist fight. But as a cop, I have to tell you to not do that again.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
