Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
hooked up with a girl who spoke elfish last night..what up 8th grade lord of the rings fantasies
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize