We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
And then out of the blue she sent me a youtube video mashup of cats puking to techno music
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
and idk now I have nine bags of lettuce in my fridge
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
You know you're old when you’re masturbating and you pull your hip
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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