That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
There is is 40 year old penis staring me in the face right now if there was ever a time to be a good friend its right now.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
