i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
