Hurry. And bring back up. SHE WON'T STOP TALKING.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
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