I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
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