Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
YOU RAISED A SWORD OVER YOUR HEAD AND SCREAMED AT HIM WHAT THE FUCK ELSE DID YOU THINK WOULD HAPPEN?!
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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