i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
you didnt know i had herpes?
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
im eating mac and cheese with a makeup brush. there is wayyyyy too much wrong with this night.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
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