I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
I just want to make out with him forever
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
I teamed up with my vagina. I compromised his morals and then she corrupted him for good. It’s been a very successful and slutty partnership
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