bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
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Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
I will rip it off your body in ways are socially offensive but you still kind of like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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