i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
