So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Because when I say 'You shouldn't drink anymore', she hears, 'I personally challenge you to chug 3 more mixed drinks'
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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