I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Is there a technical name for reverse cowgirl? I'm trying to maintain a little dignity with my mother here
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
It's going to be weird as hell when you have kids. I'll meet them and think "Hi, Did you know that I was almost your dad?"
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
pray to the hookup gods
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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