How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
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