I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
Houston, we have a squirter
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
how do i say "cradle the balls" in Italian
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Randomize
