Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
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