Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
its not stalking. its research.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
Randomize
