i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
