If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
