My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
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