Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Its official the day you get back into town we are having a going away to jail party for me. My last wish before prison is to shit faced drunk with you, get into a fist fight, and then cuddle up and fall asleep. Just like old times <3
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
i was talking to them for like 5 mins and they were like HEY LETS GET A PICTURE and tequila said it was good idea
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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