Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
my roommate had a few special brownies and wrapped my purse and one of my shoes and left them under the tree for me...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
Randomize
