He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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