I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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