i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
I was just handed a bible on my walk of shame....are you there god? its tequila tuesday's hangover
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
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