It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
Randomize
