As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
Bubblewrap condoms. We can steal Ziplock's new slogan. Protection you can hear.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
Randomize
