i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
