but the lizard people decide everything anyway
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
after attempting to eat a candy cane bigger than my hand i have determined there's no way to eat this that doesn't seem erotic
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Randomize
