omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
You made a "martini" bagel. Took a bagel dunked it in vodka and put olives in it
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
You're a waste of cheezeits
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Randomize
