playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
Randomize
