yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
I just saw a homeless man dressed as a pirate. I love san francisco.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
I'm going to have to have a long talk with god if my soul mate has a prince albert
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
