my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
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