Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
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