i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Of course I have a pirate flag
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
