either way he was missing a nipple.
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
there are teeth marks in the soap. why are there teeth marks in the soap.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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