He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
I'm buying a chandelier at walmart. WHO'S CLASSY NOW, BITCHES.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
There are more dirty dishes in my bed then in the kitchen. Have I lost at life?
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I just gargled with NyQuil
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Randomize
