We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
We had sex on a dog bed..
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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