We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bottle of Jameson may have been a bit aggressive for a Sunday cookout.
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
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