nut hugger
You are possibly the most enthusiastic, likable bad influence I've ever met.
Some broad at the bar just asked me how much money I make. I don't know whats worse, the question or the answer.
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I think my moral compass just broke
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