i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I'm beginning to think I'm sterile because I definitely should be pregnant by now.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
Randomize
