I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
Ya he's alive. Apparently he's been drinking Naty and listening to Unbreak My Heart on repeat all day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Just high enough for therapy.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize