I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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