so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
