Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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