Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
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