Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Her hair goes down to her lower back and nobody was there to held it back for her. She looked like chewbacca dipped in vomit.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Sounds like either a very good Friday night or a very bad Saturday morning.
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
Randomize
